i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I've blown a few things in my day
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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