No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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