I puked a lego.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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