You can't motorboat a personality
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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