Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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