My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
