talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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