Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
