Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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