hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i drank out of a bidet.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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