I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
