I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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