my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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