Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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