Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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