I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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