I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
