They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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