You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
