Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
