I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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