I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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