Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
