how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
please don't ironically join a cult
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