i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
