Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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