I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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