I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
