Where are you?
In a non slutty way
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
