evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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