Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
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