didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
