guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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