i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What did we do last night that was yellow?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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