Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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