we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
