4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
