lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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