Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
