do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
