I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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