At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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