forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
