Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
