Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How does it feel to date your dad?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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