I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
