38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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