I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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