i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
