you're like a bully in the Christmas story
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
