"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
